Beg You

Good afternoon, state your name, age, address

give me the nine digit code to your soul

check off all the boxes that may apply:

aching, tired, sick, ignorant, dying

Are you using blue or black ink?

Don’t step past the painted white line

read out loud the letters on the wall

slow down, please, and louder, I can’t hear you

No, line one again, please, not line two

Okay, thank you, you’re done, you can go

Please write down your name and why you’re here:

“Hi, I’m Marge. I’m an addict.”

For your own safety, and for the safety of others,

For god’s sake please just control yourself

“Hi Marge”, mumble, mumble, mumble

Now tell me what you think this looks like to you

Say anything, everything, I promise not to judge you

Now hear me out, because I think I know what’s wrong

Are you still listening? Pay attention.

Yes, that’s all, have a nice life.

 

Break me, beat me, enslave me, I beg you

Consumer

Shh, close your eyes and listen to me tap tap taping

begging to get inside you, caress you, soothe you

Just let go and let me ease into your veins

So I can love you, hold you, consume you

Shh, close your mind and see me dance

Dancing behind your eyelids, a parade along the throat

and I’ll replace your blood with me,

I’ll be running through your heart

So I can haunt you,consume you, be you

Isn’t that what you wanted, isn’t that what you asked for

the first time you took me home? You were so eager.

Shh, close your heart and hear me laugh

I roar with delight over you, what I’ve made you

Such ignorance, such foolishness, that took you over

I took you over, and now you’re gone.

Monster

This beat in our heads belongs to the soul of the song

that played so sweetly as I slept

beneath the shadows of your fingers dancing over me…

 

Yet for all that while you never saw my heart displayed

in the shelter of the cool glass case you built for me,

while my lungs pound instead– out of breath, out of time.

 

I am caged and chained to you, cut and crying and clinging to you;

each time you touch me, you wrack havoc on my soul.

So only love me in my dreams, only hold me while I sleep–

I, your lovely apparition, one of many worthless voids

that dances to the song you sing.

 

Never will I look into your eyes for all I’ve ever beheld

are lies beneath the scars and the gauze that tries to hold you back,

trying to disguise and clothe the monster roaring within.

 

Never look to me with love, but only in my dreams,

for there I’m safe from you, your claws, your firsts, your bruises…

 

Don’t place your hand upon my heart, Leave me be

to mourn in silence with the rhythm in my head that binds me close to you,

to take me back and dwell with you.