This beat in our heads belongs to the soul of the song
that played so sweetly as I slept
beneath the shadows of your fingers dancing over me…
Yet for all that while you never saw my heart displayed
in the shelter of the cool glass case you built for me,
while my lungs pound instead– out of breath, out of time.
I am caged and chained to you, cut and crying and clinging to you;
each time you touch me, you wrack havoc on my soul.
So only love me in my dreams, only hold me while I sleep–
I, your lovely apparition, one of many worthless voids
that dances to the song you sing.
Never will I look into your eyes for all I’ve ever beheld
are lies beneath the scars and the gauze that tries to hold you back,
trying to disguise and clothe the monster roaring within.
Never look to me with love, but only in my dreams,
for there I’m safe from you, your claws, your firsts, your bruises…
Don’t place your hand upon my heart, Leave me be
to mourn in silence with the rhythm in my head that binds me close to you,
to take me back and dwell with you.